How do you know if you’ve came out of the darkness?
Are you comfortable with the light that you start to build small dark kingdoms in them? I have. I switched off the light. I was stubborn, I was full of myself. I thought I could live without the light. Oh how wrong I was! We need the light, we crave for the light, we love to be in the light!
Yesterday I executed one of the most difficult things in my life. I never knew I had that much courage to do it. But God did. He put into my heart the desire to share my story to the youths for His purpose. On my part, all I had to do was share my story and dance for God. The rest of the work is done by God Himself. Oh how wonderful are His works!! I couldn’t have done this alone, God only put me through this because I am with Him. I refused to do it if He was going to let me do it by myself, and I know He didnt.
I had to share my testimony twice and dance twice. I would’ve thought both would feel the same, be the same. Or the second time would be less nerve-wrecking and heart-throbbing. But I was wrong. God does give you surprises, many many surprises. On that morning that I had to perform, I was told I have to use the original track and not the one I edited (which is shorter). So that meant I had to choreograph another close to 2minutes to end the dance. The performance was in an hour from that time and I was clueless as to what movements I could use and what tone and how I displayed myself. I know God heard my worries. Many people came to me and prayed for me, that even if I was nervous and unsure, I will be dancing for God and with Him. During the first sharing, I couldn’t feel my legs. They were shaking and they were the most unstable pair of pillars for my body at that point. I thought, ‘Oh God, please help my legs get a grip. I can’t dance with these jellies!’ I shared, and I felt assured. Honestly, I was skeptical about how the youths would’ve reacted. I was afraid they wouldn’t buy my story. But why was I afraid? I searched my heart and found the answer: I was really afraid because I actually didn’t have faith that God will move in their hearts, not because I was afraid I couldn’t deliver the message properly. God proves us wrong again and again. He shows us how much more He can do. I saw it, I felt it.
Now comes the dance, the dance that I had no idea how I would be moving in the later section. After actually dancing the parts I choreographed before, I just let it go. It honestly just felt like the times I would dance freestyle in my studio without anyone watching. Only difference: Everyone was watching me.
I danced for God, not for man. I’m in Dance Ministry because I want to minister to others through God and I know they saw my heart for God. Didn’t matter if my legs weren’t high enough, didn’t matter if I didn’t do more turns or sustained my leg longer. I was moving for God, I was dancing with Him.
Then comes the second time. I would’ve thought it was easier, since I’ve done it before. But no, God showed me otherwise. It was so difficult. In the middle of sharing my testimony, something moved me to feel the pain again. I broke into tears as I felt the torture I used to feel, but thereafter I felt a hug from God. I felt Him moving in me, telling me, ‘its okay, all of those have past, all that matters is I am with you now‘. I cried as I danced, because I felt His love and I want to dance for Him. I may not have known what steps I actually did or how stupid I would have looked like in the eyes of a professional/skilled dancer, the only thing I knew was that my body breezed through the air around me in pure joy that I was entrusted with from Him.
Sharing a testimony and performing a dance without knowing your choreography was tough enough. Yet at the second venue, the flooring on stage was rough and not dancer-friendly. Much less the space; it was small, the carpet was rolled up and protruding out, ‘How do I dance on that floor?’ I had my fair share of worries. But I was moved beyond words when after I ended my dance, a girl behind me passed me a note. She told me that she saw hope through me, she saw a shining light for God through me! How wonderful and amazing is our God? She saw no hope but it was timely and it gave her hope. God gave her hope through me.
I never knew and I never thought my testimony would have such an impact but God is miraculous, He is enough. He is able.
Nothing I could have done without Jesus, without His mercy. And I pray everyone sees His grace, His mercy and His love.
If I can, I would definitely and non-hesitantly share this testimony that I used to be ashamed of to others. People need to know how amazing our God is. We need to openly profess His name. Let’s not get complacent in the light and continuously seek Him and seek the light that gives us life!
Thank You Jesus!